Lesson 2: Meeting the Inner Child
“Before we can heal the inner child, we must first meet them.”
Bridging from Lesson 1
We began exploring the quiet ache beneath the surface, the part of us that still carries unmet needs, unspoken fears, and a forgotten innocence. Now, we go deeper. Before we can heal the inner child, we must meet them, not as a concept, but as a living presence within us.
Who the Inner Child Truly Is
Your inner child is the radiant, imaginative part of you that once believed anything was possible. They are the dreamers, the artists, the explorers who find wonder in the smallest things. Their purpose was simple: to play, to create, to express joy.
However, for many individuals, a shift occurs during development. At some point between the instruction to “be good” and the expectation to “grow up,” an individual’s enthusiasm may diminish. The inner child may begin to feel overlooked, unheard, or insecure, leading them to adopt adult responsibilities prematurely.
Instead of playing, they focused on protection, managing emotions, solving problems, and holding things together out of necessity, not choice.
This is how the inner child begins to carry adult weight in a child’s body, and that child never really goes away. They grow up, but they grow up inside of us.
Understanding the Wound
Even the most loving parents and caregivers are often raising children from their own unhealed inner child. No one sets out to cause harm, but when love meets unprocessed pain, misunderstanding takes root. As children, we look up to adults, believing they hold all the answers. The truth is that most adults are still learning how to be grown-ups themselves. Many are operating from fear, shame, or the same longing to be seen that you carry now. When a child’s fundamental needs for safety, affection, and affirmation are unmet, they develop adaptive behaviors that often manifest as protective personas in adulthood.
People-pleasing to earn love.
Overachieving to feel worthy
Avoiding conflict to feel safe
Numbing emotions to survive
The child never disappears; they simply hide behind our adult responsibilities, quietly running the show from the shadows.
How This Shows Up in Adulthood
When the inner child is unacknowledged, it influences our reactions and relationships. You might notice:
Emotional outbursts that feel “bigger than the moment.”
Repeating painful or unhealthy relationship patterns.
Substance use or other coping behaviors that temporarily ease pain.
Self-sabotage just when things start going well.
These are not signs of weakness; they are signals. They are your inner child saying, “I need you to see me. I have been holding this for too long.”
Reclaiming Joy and Safety
Healing the inner child does not mean digging up every old wound. It means reparenting, learning to offer yourself what you once needed and did not receive.
It is saying to that part of you:
“You do not have to be the adult anymore. You are safe to play again.”
Our inner child is the keeper of our laughter, creativity, and wonder. Without them, life becomes rigid, all responsibility, no magic.
When you reconnect, you reawaken joy. You remember that healing is not only about releasing pain, but also about reclaiming play, imagination, and trust.
Reflection Prompts
When do I feel most playful or creative? What helps me reconnect with that energy?
When did I first learn to “grow up” or stop expressing myself freely?
What did I most need to hear as a child that I can say to myself now?
How can I offer my inner child a sense of safety today?
Affirmation for the Week
“I honor the child within me. I am learning to listen, to nurture, and to play again. Healing doesn’t mean growing harder; it means growing gentler.”
Meeting your inner child is the sacred first step in healing. It’s not about dwelling in the past; it’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be. This lesson invites you to slow down, listen within, and notice the small ways your younger self still speaks through your emotions, creativity, and needs.
When you meet your inner child with gentleness instead of judgment, you begin to bridge the distance between who you were and who you’re becoming. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s integration.
This week, as you move through your reflections and journaling, notice moments that invite you to play, laugh, or rest. These are whispers from your inner child, reminding you that healing can be soft, and joy is a form of medicine.
Until next time, be gentle with yourself.
Monique
I am meeting my inner children a few times a day to check in how they are doing. It’s an IFS therapy model and saved my life. Thanks for sharing this here. It’s important work in the healing space. Especially when it comes to trauma work.